| Hey. No matter what, I know I have this neccesity to let this off my chest before I leave for New Zealand.
One and a half years ago,
Of what felt like forever,
I was placed in this exact same position,
But I knew you loved me,
With everything you have,
You truly regretted the decision you made,
And I believed you, I had faith in us
Not forgetting to mention I loved you too.
Thus,
I wasn't afraid to leave,
Cause I know during my absence,
You'll realise exactly what I wanted you to.
I felt contented.
Contented and relieved.
Also cause I knew you wouldn't change your mind about us,
and us will still be there waiting for us,
And we'll be even stronger, stronger than before.
Knowing that you wouldn't go around looking for someone else,
Made me not enjoy my trip to U.S.,
Having the urge,
Waiting for the days to fly,
So that I can come back, and be with you.
All these thoughts,
All these memories,
Still lingers around my mind.
When I was back,
I told you I'm back,
I could never forget the tone in your voice,
Making me giggle like a little girl once again.
You told me never to ever leave you like that again,
Cause you're whole life is messed up without me in it,
And that's now we began, yet again,
But it didn't last for too long,
Blaming it all on my pride, my greediness, my ego, me.
Nevertheless,
We still have memories,
That willl last forever.
Today,
I am again placed in a similar position,
Except this time,
Everything feels so different,
Cause I already know what you're thinking.
Everything I don't want you to think,
Contrary to the way you're supposed to feel,
The way I'm feeling.
When I'm gone,
Whether or not its our intentions,
Nothing's ever gonna be the same anymore.
I'm not your only one.
We both know that,
And slowly, I've come to accepting this painful fact that.
In the shadows of your mind,
There will always be her,
Haunting you,
Reminding you of something,
Something I'm trying to figure out,
But I couldn't.
So what if I miss our cheerful chats?
The way you claimed I can laugh and giggle till you laugh too..
Haha,
All those nights where there were just things to talk about,
Until we're too sleepy to talk,
Hanging up, knowing there's always tomorrow to continue our story.
.. Those just wasn't enough for you.
Its uncomprehensible how you just couldn't settle with something,
Hold on to it, and make it your everything.
Cause that was what you wanted from me.
Your soul is wondering around,
Until,
The ghost in your shadow pushes its way through,
Breaking free through all we had,
Poisoning your thoughts.
Which is what is crashing me into infinate pieces,
I was what you needed,
At one point in your life,
Excitement, fun, something fresh,
Just to take a break,
Before...
But she's what you need,
For the rest of your life.
It's not that I wanna push you out of my life,
I just have to.
Cause I can't bear the pain of looking at you,
Holding those hands,
Having to accept the fact that they're not mine.
Everyone who knows us has been telling me things,
Words meant good but pricks my heart everytime I hear them,
A scar constantly reminding me,
To wake up from my dream and come back to reality.
So here it is,
Here I am,
Standing here alone,
Here we are right now,
This is the story,
An ending yet to be written,
And standing here,
I'm wondering,
What's stored for me in the future..
Not even having a fuking clue.
Still thinking ..
Still wondering ..
Still hoping that,
Those voices in your mind,
It's me.
and those voices in my mind,
Will tell me for once,
I'm right.
*PS : Thanks to Jia for helping me type this out. So my flight is at 12. Mm. I'm gonna miss all of you. Love you all so much. Hugs! Etain, Med, Jia, Dory, Lynn! :) Rach, Jane, Pei Yin, Xian Hui, omg Audrey! everyone! Lauren, Jo, yarh .. all of you! I love you guys!
*I'll miss Kai Zhi also! LOLS! =D =D
*To Jo - Hey I'm FIFteen not FIFty Jo. lol. =P Of course I remembered to type this. xoxo Jia Min
*Jia - =). My plane leaves in exactly 6 hours time. Lols. Sorry I didn't reply your msg babe. And thanks so much! Love you very much! And hope you'll have fun with your temporary partner - the indian guy :D Hahah Just kidding! Will remmeber your chocs :D |
! Because the world is in needs people to forgive and forget, love and care, care and share, share and smile, then everyone's frown would turn into smiles that would brighten our days. Reading is a pleasure, and deep thinking is a nessecity, loving is a treasure and friendship is the greatest of all. The presence of God in my life has became more prominent recently, I'd love to meet Him when I'm in Heaven. And oh, I stongly believe in karma, after all, what goes around, comes around.
